Little Melissa came home from first grade and told her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian Saint and we're Jewish," she asked, "Will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?"
Melissa's father thought a bit, then said "No, I don't think God would get mad.
Who do you want to give a valentine to?"
"Osama Bin Laden," she answered.
"Why Osama Bin Laden?" her father asked in shock.
"Well," she replied, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."
Her father's heart swelled and he looked at his daughter with newfound pride.
"Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."
"I know, Daddy," Melissa said, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the shit out of him."
HBM Out
Monday, February 23, 2009
World Travel
I found this article with tips on world travel. Very Funny:
http://www.thephatphree.com/features.asp?StoryID=4238&SectionID=11&LayOutType=1
HBM Out
http://www.thephatphree.com/features.asp?StoryID=4238&SectionID=11&LayOutType=1
HBM Out
Sunday, February 22, 2009
MIA
Missing in Action? I should think so. The days seem to be filled with nothing; not in any nihilistic sense, but rather as lingering sense of without. That said, I have finally had the opportunity to reconnect with the programing created and marketed for people like you and I: Adult Swim. Honestly, how did I miss you Drinky Crow?
I have been traveling around recently, to both Atlanta and San Antonio respectively, and have enjoyed the opportunities to reconnect with Родина--The Land of Cotton. The humidity aside, the trips were wonderful and I had a chance to see some people I haven't seen in sometime. Another thing I was excited to see was The Alamo. Many have told me how underwhelmed they went to see the site. I suspect this is because they don't really understand the actuality of the battle that took place there.
These Texians (yes, that is their proper title) fought thousands of Mexicans over a scrappy mission by a shitty scrub down near a piss-small river. They were not fighting for "America" nor for any sense of destined autonomy; they were simply fighting for the contract that Antonio Lopez de Santa Ana chose to violate when he shat on the Mexican Constitution of 1824. Texas said fuck you--profoundly--and every last man died for their cause (folks from as close as Mexico and from as far as Germany).
I (along with many of the others who have never before been to the great State of Texas) though of the place much like a theme park: loud attractions, costumed natives, plenty of shooting ranges, and free mustache rides! Texas, after this trip, madw a decent impression on me. I can understand why they are the way they are...at least a bit more then I had before.
So Texas, I say to you "Well Played, Sir. You're whacky do-righting and oversized 12-gallon hats are slightly more tolerable now. Bare in mind, however, that this change in my opinion does not ever permit you to wear jeans on my Colorado ski slopes."
HBM Out
the stars at night are big and bright (clap clap clap clap)
I have been traveling around recently, to both Atlanta and San Antonio respectively, and have enjoyed the opportunities to reconnect with Родина--The Land of Cotton. The humidity aside, the trips were wonderful and I had a chance to see some people I haven't seen in sometime. Another thing I was excited to see was The Alamo. Many have told me how underwhelmed they went to see the site. I suspect this is because they don't really understand the actuality of the battle that took place there.
These Texians (yes, that is their proper title) fought thousands of Mexicans over a scrappy mission by a shitty scrub down near a piss-small river. They were not fighting for "America" nor for any sense of destined autonomy; they were simply fighting for the contract that Antonio Lopez de Santa Ana chose to violate when he shat on the Mexican Constitution of 1824. Texas said fuck you--profoundly--and every last man died for their cause (folks from as close as Mexico and from as far as Germany).
I (along with many of the others who have never before been to the great State of Texas) though of the place much like a theme park: loud attractions, costumed natives, plenty of shooting ranges, and free mustache rides! Texas, after this trip, madw a decent impression on me. I can understand why they are the way they are...at least a bit more then I had before.
So Texas, I say to you "Well Played, Sir. You're whacky do-righting and oversized 12-gallon hats are slightly more tolerable now. Bare in mind, however, that this change in my opinion does not ever permit you to wear jeans on my Colorado ski slopes."
HBM Out
the stars at night are big and bright (clap clap clap clap)
CANNOT WAIT for this to come out!
The other day I was enlightened about a movie due to come out later this year. It's called "9" and appropriately is coming out 9-9-09. When I started to watch the trailer I thought that it was just another animated kids movie, but no. When Coheed & Cambria started to play and realized that not only was the music (Welcome Home - Coheed & Cambria) was perfect but that this movie will be anything but a childs film. Directed by Tim Burton, this is no doubt going to be good... And for the first time in my life I am excited about seeing a film when it first comes out.
It's like an animated Terminator, except it's little potato sack people against evil machines. ROCK!
See for yourself
Time to finish packing for Colorado
KA
you seem to take premise to all of these songs
It's like an animated Terminator, except it's little potato sack people against evil machines. ROCK!
See for yourself
Time to finish packing for Colorado
KA
you seem to take premise to all of these songs
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Dissociative Disorders
It is difficult to remain connected to any of what I have ever seen. There is no sense of permanence to anything - most likely a result of having never grown and lived in one given place for an extended period of time. Writing this is useless, and anything you write as well seems as equally as banal.
Enough of that nonsense, though. So you are entertaining notions of philosophical bullshit? Thinking you've really got a grasp on education? Good, but "fuck the socially conscious, I want you all to feel safe," says my semi-estranged brother in New York... education does no credit if it should only be used as a tool to make a comfortable living. All the same, education is wasted on those who understand things well enough that immediately it should have been seen as more convenient never to have bothered about any of it at all. Still, philosophy is better conjured in the confines of a toilet, and let go as easily as the handle falls...
I have met, and continue to meet, people that should like to think themselves connected in some way, or in an other manner related to that which surrounds them. I enjoy these people the most, as they tend not to second guess their own actions, or think of other ways of dealing with life, or perhaps would never want any deviation whatsoever. Like my brother, I want them to feel safe. I want them to think that they too are ascending along with every other great and decent man and movement of the World. I could care less.
Yours, etc.
Kitaev
Uncreative and unimportant.
Enough of that nonsense, though. So you are entertaining notions of philosophical bullshit? Thinking you've really got a grasp on education? Good, but "fuck the socially conscious, I want you all to feel safe," says my semi-estranged brother in New York... education does no credit if it should only be used as a tool to make a comfortable living. All the same, education is wasted on those who understand things well enough that immediately it should have been seen as more convenient never to have bothered about any of it at all. Still, philosophy is better conjured in the confines of a toilet, and let go as easily as the handle falls...
I have met, and continue to meet, people that should like to think themselves connected in some way, or in an other manner related to that which surrounds them. I enjoy these people the most, as they tend not to second guess their own actions, or think of other ways of dealing with life, or perhaps would never want any deviation whatsoever. Like my brother, I want them to feel safe. I want them to think that they too are ascending along with every other great and decent man and movement of the World. I could care less.
Yours, etc.
Kitaev
Uncreative and unimportant.
I'm Bringing Sexy Back
Ok Kids: I am off to Hotlanta is a few hours time. Before I go, I wanted to leave you all with this gem. This is truly what women want: (check out the guys expression 34 seconds in)
HBM Out
Happy Trails
HBM Out
Happy Trails
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
A reminder of why I hate you...
Just in case anyone out there forgot why I hated Palin... I saw this on morning joe (I think) and I just couldn't resist. I love me some hunting, but she is a freaking wack job.
KA
can I be buried here, among the dead?
Bertrand Russell vs. Saint Thomas Aquinas
The readings for my Metaphysics' class this week are interesting at the very least. In one corner I have Bertrand Russell and his essay on why he is not a Christian. In the other corner I have Saint Thomas Aquinas and an article on how God can be proved in five ways.
This is all very interesting to me. I must say that I am totally adoring this class, I think about this stuff until I fall asleep. Poor HBM will have to put up with my Metaphysics nonsense when I come out to Colorado in a few weeks... Sorry Darling. (As if he doesn't already put up with me talking about rabies titers and such, I mean that's bad enough... now to fill my head with Philosophy!)
Oh well, I'm sitting in a suave coffee shop, dying for a cigarette... I should probably get back to taking notes on this lecture that I'm listening to/kinda watching.
KA
i can feel you like a notion
This is all very interesting to me. I must say that I am totally adoring this class, I think about this stuff until I fall asleep. Poor HBM will have to put up with my Metaphysics nonsense when I come out to Colorado in a few weeks... Sorry Darling. (As if he doesn't already put up with me talking about rabies titers and such, I mean that's bad enough... now to fill my head with Philosophy!)
Oh well, I'm sitting in a suave coffee shop, dying for a cigarette... I should probably get back to taking notes on this lecture that I'm listening to/kinda watching.
KA
i can feel you like a notion
Sunday, February 1, 2009
I'd Read This!
I found this on a website I read often. Apparently you can really purchase it.
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies -- Pride and Prejudice and Zombies features the original text of Jane Austen's beloved novel with all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie action. As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton—and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she's soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers—and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield as Elizabeth wages war against hordes of flesh-eating undead. Complete with 20 illustrations in the style of C. E. Brock (the original illustrator of Pride and Prejudice), this insanely funny expanded edition will introduce Jane Austen's classic novel to new legions of fans.
Awesome.
HBM Out
roger that, let's run like hell
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies -- Pride and Prejudice and Zombies features the original text of Jane Austen's beloved novel with all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie action. As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton—and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she's soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers—and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield as Elizabeth wages war against hordes of flesh-eating undead. Complete with 20 illustrations in the style of C. E. Brock (the original illustrator of Pride and Prejudice), this insanely funny expanded edition will introduce Jane Austen's classic novel to new legions of fans.
Awesome.
HBM Out
roger that, let's run like hell
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