Next: So I am going to talk about this in detail later on, but last night my sister came home with the nose ring. My mother freaked! Not screaming and yelling freaked, but streaming tears throughout dinner, talking about divorce, my father slept on the couch for the first time in my 17 plus years of memory--freaked. Not too sure how I feel about this, but I have a strange feeling that this was just a straw that broke a camels back. Hard to say but this upset is different than any other upset that I have ever seen.
Um,...so yea. I am a going to leave the house for a while and get some perspective. In the mean time, I'd like to direct you to the (now defunct) blog In It, But Not Of It. It was run by one of the fellas who brought you Barely Legal, a blog that strongly encourages you to never, ever go to law school. His name is Mike and I stubbled across a decently humorous post the other day. I will link you to it, so as no one shall be confused as to its origin.
So, now for some funny stuff I wish I had written:
------
Dear Guy Who Sings 'Hey There Delilah',
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but dude, Delilah is cheating on you.
She went away to New York City for college. Do you really think she is spending her evenings in her apartment, pining for some guy she dated in high school? Sure, I know that in your town, 1000 miles away from her, she's all you can think about; but do you realize that she's probably dating a 30 year old hipster artist/waiter, who is mock sophisticated and psuedo-worldy, and impressing the hell out of her naive 20 year old mind? You're just an afterthought to her, man.
"Delilah I can promise you that by the time we get through, the world will never ever be the same"
Come on, guy, cut that hokey puppy love shit out. You don't know what you're talking about. Love doesn't change the world. Just because this girl blew you in her basement a couple nights a week when you were seniors doesn't mean you're in love. You're just some guy she dated in high school who went to the local junior college, and still dreams of making it big with his band. She mentions you in passing with a dissmissive laugh to her friends. "Pete, the guy who works at Costco", is what she calls you. She isn't trying to sound like she's better than you, but....she's better than you. She's moved way beyond you, bud. She isn't doing it to be mean; it's just that she's over you. She lives in New York now, her horizons are expanding, her world view is widening, while you're stuck at home writing dorky love songs. I don't want to burst your bubble, but it's over between you guys.
You have two choices now: either knock it off and move on, or you can be that obsessive guy from home that lots of college girls have. Don't be the guy who calls at 3am and screams how much you love her, or shows up outside her window with your guitar. It reeks of desperation. Just be a damn man, and move on. Don't let this get ugly. Yeah, Delilah is a hell of a girl, but it's over. She's found someone else, and possibly lots of someone elses, and it's best you hear it from me than from having her new boyfriend answer her phone one day. Yeah, you wrote a catchy little song, and she'll think it's sweet and shit, but the second she got on that plane to NYC, it was over. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can move on.
All the best,
Mike
------
Heh, that Delilah is such a whore....
HBM Out
you are now one of us
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but dude, Delilah is cheating on you.
She went away to New York City for college. Do you really think she is spending her evenings in her apartment, pining for some guy she dated in high school? Sure, I know that in your town, 1000 miles away from her, she's all you can think about; but do you realize that she's probably dating a 30 year old hipster artist/waiter, who is mock sophisticated and psuedo-worldy, and impressing the hell out of her naive 20 year old mind? You're just an afterthought to her, man.
"Delilah I can promise you that by the time we get through, the world will never ever be the same"
Come on, guy, cut that hokey puppy love shit out. You don't know what you're talking about. Love doesn't change the world. Just because this girl blew you in her basement a couple nights a week when you were seniors doesn't mean you're in love. You're just some guy she dated in high school who went to the local junior college, and still dreams of making it big with his band. She mentions you in passing with a dissmissive laugh to her friends. "Pete, the guy who works at Costco", is what she calls you. She isn't trying to sound like she's better than you, but....she's better than you. She's moved way beyond you, bud. She isn't doing it to be mean; it's just that she's over you. She lives in New York now, her horizons are expanding, her world view is widening, while you're stuck at home writing dorky love songs. I don't want to burst your bubble, but it's over between you guys.
You have two choices now: either knock it off and move on, or you can be that obsessive guy from home that lots of college girls have. Don't be the guy who calls at 3am and screams how much you love her, or shows up outside her window with your guitar. It reeks of desperation. Just be a damn man, and move on. Don't let this get ugly. Yeah, Delilah is a hell of a girl, but it's over. She's found someone else, and possibly lots of someone elses, and it's best you hear it from me than from having her new boyfriend answer her phone one day. Yeah, you wrote a catchy little song, and she'll think it's sweet and shit, but the second she got on that plane to NYC, it was over. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can move on.
All the best,
Mike
------
Heh, that Delilah is such a whore....
HBM Out
you are now one of us
No comments:
Post a Comment